We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
