There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
