Do vagina's smell?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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