so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
