Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
