Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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