somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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