Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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