The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
