that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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