it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
