Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He kissed a someone with a penis
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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