3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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