Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
