I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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