Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
