he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
