Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
