Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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