There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
