he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
