Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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