Tell her she can't have a vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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