The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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