I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
