That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
