I skipped work to stalk him.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
