First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
