I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
birth control should be required to get into college
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
do nipples grow back?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
