I accidentally had phone sex last night
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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