There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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