Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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