This girl is more easily done than said...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
