I can tuck mytits in my pants
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
