i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So vagazzling was a success
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
