you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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