In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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