You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
