I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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