Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
