I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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