Plan B is the new Plan A
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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