it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
