Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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