Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
