a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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