Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
