No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
