the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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