We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
