You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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