We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
