Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
