lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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