Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
