WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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