I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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