They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
