this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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