nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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