Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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