even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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