We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize